Delphi Complete Poetical Works of Edward Lear Read online

  There was an old man on the Border

  There was an old man of Dumbree

  There was an old person of Filey

  There was an old man whose remorse

  There was an old man of Ibreem

  There was an old person of Wilts

  There was an old person of Grange

  There was an old person of Newry

  There was an old man of Dumblane

  There was an old man of Port Grigor

  There was an old man of El Hums

  There was an old man of West Dumpet

  There was an old person of Sark

  There was an old man whose despair

  There was an old person of Barnes

  There was an old person of Nice

  There was a young lady of Greenwich

  There was an old person of Cannes

  There was an old person of Ickley

  There was an old person of Hyde

  There was an old person in gray

  There was an old man of Ancona

  There was an old person of Sestri

  There was an old person of Blythe

  There was a young person of Ayr

  There was an old person of Rimini

  There is a young lady, whose nose

  There was an old person of Ealing

  There was an old man of Thames Ditton

  There was an old person of Bray

  There was a young person whose history

  There was an old person of Bow

  There was an old person of Rye

  There was an old person of Crowle

  There was an old Lady of Winchelsea

  There was an old man in a tree

  There was a young lady of Corsica

  There was a young lady of Firle

  There was an old person of Stroud

  There was an old man of Boulak

  There was an old person of Skye

  There was an old man of Blackheath

  There was an old man, who when little

  There was an old person of Dundalk

  There was an old person of Shoreham

  There was an old person of Bar

  There was a young person of Kew

  There was an old person of Jodd

  There was an old person of Bude

  There was an old person of Brigg

  There was an old man of Messina

  TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.

  The Absolutely Abstemious Ass

  The Bountiful Beetle

  The Comfortable Confidential Cow

  The Dolomphious Duck

  The Enthusiastic Elephant

  The Fizzgiggious Fish

  The Good-natured Grey Gull

  The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen

  The Inventive Indian

  The Judicious Jubilant Jay

  The Kicking Kangaroo

  The Lively Learned Lobster

  The Melodious Meritorious Mouse

  The Nutritious Newt

  The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich

  The Perpendicular Purple Polly

  The Queer Querulous Quail

  The Rural Runcible Raven

  The Scroobious Snake

  The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise

  The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker

  The Visibly Vicious Vulture

  The Worrying Whizzing Wasp

  The Excellent Double-extra XX

  The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo

  The Zigzag Zealous Zebra

  INTRODUCTION.

  In offering this little book — the third of its kind — to the public, I am glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful expression.

  At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or original “Book of Nonsense,” relating to which many absurd reports have crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning, etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the subjects incapable of misinterpretation: “Nonsense,” pure and absolute, having been my aim throughout.

  As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the author of the “First Book of Nonsense,” I may relate an incident which occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into the origin of the rumor.

  I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage, containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently, however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had just had a copy of the “Book of Nonsense” given them, were loud in their delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.

  “How grateful,” said the old gentleman to the two ladies, “all children, and parents too, ought to be to the statesman who has given his time to composing that charming book!”

  (The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the author.)

  “Do you not know who is the writer of it?” asked the gentleman.

  “The name is ‘Edward Lear,’” said one of the ladies.

  “Ah!” said the first speaker, “so it is printed; but that is only a whim of the real author, the Earl of Derby. ‘Edward’ is his Christian name, and, as you may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed.”

  “But,” said the lady, doubtingly, “here is a dedication to the great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth Earl of Derby, by the author, Edward Lear.”

  “That,” replied the other, “is simply a piece of mystification; I am in a position to know that the whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at all as Edward Lear.”

  “Yet,” said the other lady, “some friends of mine tell me they know Mr. Lear.”

  “Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!” said the old gentleman, becoming rather angry at the contradiction; “I am well aware of what I am saying: I can inform you, no such a person as ‘Edward Lear’ exists!”

  Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief and stick, largely marked inside with my name, and as I happened to have in my pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation was too great to resist; so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be extinguisher’s attention, I speedily reduced him to silence.

  The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with the verses, “The Owl and the Pussy-Cat,” was written at different times, and for different sets of children: the whole being collected in the course of last year, were then illustrated, and published in a single volume, by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32 Charing Cross.

  The contents of the third or present volume were made also at different intervals in the last two years.

  Long years ago, in days when much of my time was passed in a country house, where children and mirth abounded, the lines beginning, “There was an old man of Tobago,” were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse lending itself to limitless variety for rhymes and pictures; and thenceforth the greater part of the original drawings and verses for the first “Book of Nonsense” were struck off with a pen, no assistance ever having been given me in any way but that of uproarious delight and welcome at the appearance of every new absurdity.

  Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred to lithographic stones in the year 1846, and wer
e then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon exhausted, and the call for the “Book of Nonsense” continuing, I added a considerable number of subjects to those previously-published, and having caused the whole to be carefully reproduced in woodcuts by Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the copyright to Messrs. Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was published in 1843.

  EDWARD LEAR.

  VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,

  August, 1871.

  NONSENSE BOTANY.

  Barkia Howlaloudia Enkoopia Chickabiddia Jinglia Tinkettlia Nasticreechia Krorluppia Arthbroomia Rigida Sophtsluggia Glutinosa Minspysia Deliciosa Shoebootia Utilis Stunnia Dinnerbellia Tickia Orologica Washtubbia Circularis Tigerlillia Terribilis

  Barkia Howlaloudia.

  Enkoopia Chickabiddia.

  Jinglia Tinkettlia.

  Nasticreechia Krorluppia.

  Arthbroomia Rigida.

  Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.

  Minspysia Deliciosa.

  Shoebootia Utilis.

  Stunnia Dinnerbellia.

  Tickia Orologica.

  Washtubbia Circularis.

  Tigerlillia Terribilis.

  ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.

  There was a young person of Bantry

  There was a young person of Bantry,

  Who frequently slept in the pantry;

  When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,

  That judicious young person of Bantry.

  There was an Old Man at a Junction

  There was an Old Man at a Junction,

  Whose feelings were wrung with compunction

  When they said, “The Train’s gone!” he exclaimed, “How forlorn!”

  But remained on the rails of the Junction.

  There was an old person of Minety

  There was an old person of Minety,

  Who purchased five hundred and ninety

  Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares

  At the heads of the people of Minety.

  There was an old man of Thermopylae

  There was an old man of Thermopylae,

  Who never did anything properly;

  But they said, “If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,

  You shall never remain in Thermopylae.”

  There was an old person of Deal

  There was an old person of Deal,

  Who in walking used only his heel;

  When they said, “Tell us why?” he made no reply,

  That mysterious old person of Deal.

  There was an old man on the Humber

  There was an old man on the Humber,

  Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;

  When he said, “It’s enough!” they only said, “Stuff!

  You amazing old man on the Humber!”

  There was an old man in a barge

  There was an old man in a barge,

  Whose nose was exceedingly large;

  But in fishing by night, it supported a light,

  Which helped that old man in a barge.

  There was an old man of Dunrose

  There was an old man of Dunrose;

  A parrot seized hold of his nose.

  When he grew melancholy, they said, “His name’s Polly,”

  Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.

  There was an old man of Toulouse

  There was an old man of Toulouse

  Who purchased a new pair of shoes;

  When they asked, “Are they pleasant?” he said, “Not at present!”

  That turbid old man of Toulouse.

  There was an old person of Bree

  There was an old person of Bree,

  Who frequented the depths of the sea;

  She nurs’d the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,

  And swam back again into Bree.

  There was an old person of Bromley

  There was an old person of Bromley,

  Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;

  He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,

  That unpleasing old person of Bromley.

  There was an old person of Shields

  There was an old person of Shields,

  Who frequented the vallies and fields;

  All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,

  Followed after that person of Shields.

  There was an old man of Dunluce

  There was an old man of Dunluce,

  Who went out to sea on a goose:

  When he’d gone out a mile, he observ’d with a smile,

  “It is time to return to Dunluce.”

  There was an old man of Dee-side

  There was an old man of Dee-side

  Whose hat was exceedingly wide,

  But he said, “Do not fail, if it happen to hail,

  To come under my hat at Dee-side!”

  There was an old person in black

  There was an old person in black,

  A Grasshopper jumped on his back;

  When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,

  That helpless old person in black.

  There was an old man of the Dargle

  There was an old man of the Dargle

  Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;

  For he said, “I’ll sit still, and will roll them down hill,

  For the fish in the depths of the Dargle.”

  There was an old person of Pinner

  There was an old person of Pinner,

  As thin as a lath, if not thinner;

  They dressed him in white, and roll’d him up tight,

  That elastic old person of Pinner.

  There was an old person of China

  There was an old person of China,

  Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,

  Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,

  And all of them settled in China.

  There was an old man in a Marsh

  There was an old man in a Marsh,

  Whose manners were futile and harsh;

  He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,

  That instructive old man in a Marsh.

  There was an old person of Brill

  There was an old person of Brill,

  Who purchased a shirt with a frill;

  But they said, “Don’t you wish, you mayn’t look like a fish,

  You obsequious old person of Brill?”

  There was an old person of Wick

  There was an old person of Wick,

  Who said, “Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;

  Chickabee, Chickabaw.” And he said nothing more,

  That laconic old person of Wick.

  There was an old man at a Station

  There was an old man at a Station,

  Who made a promiscuous oration;

  But they said, “Take some snuff! — You have talk’d quite enough,

  You afflicting old man at a Station!”

  There was an old man of Three Bridges

  There was an old man of Three Bridges,

  Whose mind was distracted by midges,

  He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,

  Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.

  There was an old man of Hong Kong

  There was an old man of Hong Kong,

  Who never did anything wrong;

  He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,

  That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.

  There was a young person in green

  There was a young person in green,

  Who seldom was fit to be seen;

  She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,

  Which enveloped that person in green.

  There was an old person of Fife

  There was an old person of Fife,

  Who was greatly disgusted with life;

  They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,

  Which cured that old person of Fife.

  There was an
old man who screamed out

  There was an old man who screamed out

  Whenever they knocked him about:

  So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,

  And continued to knock him about.

  There was a young lady in white

  There was a young lady in white,

  Who looked out at the depths of the night;

  But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,

  And oppressed that young lady in white.

  There was an old person of Slough

  There was an old person of Slough,

  Who danced at the end of a bough;

  But they said, “If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,

  You imprudent old person of Slough.”

  There was an old person of Down

  There was an old person of Down,

  Whose face was adorned with a frown;

  When he opened the door, for one minute or more,